


Ted and Barney's Secret Hobby

by WickerPrince



Category: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, How I Met Your Mother
Genre: International Fanworks Day 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9770660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickerPrince/pseuds/WickerPrince
Summary: I've been meaning to add to this hellish pairing/fandom. What better way to do it than International Fanworks Day!





	

Ted and Barney had a secret. A secret no one knew about. 

 

"Ted, where the Hell are you going? It's only ten-thirty." Lily had asked just as Ted stood up. He shot a glance to where Barney stood, waiting for him at the very end of the bar.

 

"Lesson planning is hard. C'mon, Lily, you should know this, you teach." Ted replied almost too quickly. 

 

"Lesson planning? Ted, you teach architecture. All you have to do is get up there and talk about buildings." Robin cut in, a playful smirk playing at her lips. 

 

Ted made the face - y'all know the face - that meant he was trying to make a point but it wasn't working out too well. "Well...you...don't do news good." he stammered out. 

 

The table fell silent for a moment at Ted's terrible come back, but Marshal continued to push the issue. 

 

"Ted, why go make a lesson plan when you can be down here, with three of your best friends, drinking beer on a Saturday - yeah, you're right, you should go." His thoughts trailed along with his argument.

 

"Okay, see ya' guys tomorrow!" Ted exclaimed as he ran towards the door, weaving through the few people crowded around it. 

 

Carl's eyes followed him and Barney as they both ran outside and down to catch a cab some old woman had called.

 

"Too bad, Grandma!" Barney cackled as they drove away.

 

/////

 

As soon as the two men reached Barney's apartment, the blonde slammed the door shut and locked it with a wicked grin. 

 

"Ted Evelyn Mosby, are you ready for the greatest night of your life?" 

 

"Barney Stinson," Ted grins equally as wicked, "I was born ready." 

 

Meanwhile, back at the bar...

 

"Follow them!" Lily shouted as soon as the two men exited the pub. 

 

Robin, Lily and Marshal all leapt up and dashed out the door, catching the cab just behind Barney and Ted's.

 

They followed the two up to Barney's apartment, only to be stopped by the locking of the door. 

 

A faint "are you ready for the best night of your life?" floated through the material as Robin dropped to her knees and began picking the lock. 

 

Marshal's face went pale. Lily's eyes lit up manically. 

 

/////

 

An hour and three bobby pins later, Robin shoved the now unlocked door open. 

 

"Stop!" Marshal shouted, covering his eyes. "Put your clothes back on and stop!" 

 

Ted and Barney looked up from where they sat on the couch, He-Man playing in the background and both of them fully clothed. 

 

"Dude." Barney whined. A grown man whining was an interesting thing, but when you're friends with Barney Stinson, you're never short on interest.

 

"Yeah, come on, Marshal." Ted said, matching Barney's tone. 

 

"You two aren't sleeping together...?" Lily asked quietly as she pointed at the small space between Barney and Ted's heads. 

 

"No!" Ted exclaimed. 

 

"Not right now." Barney mumbled, just barely quiet enough that only Ted could hear. Ted snorted and glanced at Barney. 

 

"Are you guys...watching He-Man?" Lily laughed. 

 

"Yes!" Barney exclaimed at the same time as Ted. 

 

"Look at him! He's amazing. Confident...strong...defending the ladies of the universe..." Ted swooned. 

 

"And he's got a frickin' magical tiger!" Barney added. "He's perfect." 

 

The two men flopped down on opposite sides of the couch, sighing dreamily. 

 

The three other adults began to laugh at them. 

 

"You like He-Man!" Robin teased.

 

"Cool your jets, Scherbatsky." Barney popped up. 

 

"Yeah, Scherbs." Ted added on, smirking slightly. 

 

The laughing subsided after a moment and they all stood - and sat - in comfortable silence before Marshal broke it.

 

"So you two are being secretive about watching a kid's show?" 

 

"Yes." Ted nodded. "We knew you three would make fun of us." 

 

"Besides, we kinda need our privacy for when we fuck afterwards." Barney said casually.

 

Marshal nearly fainted. 

**Author's Note:**

> TERRIBLE ENDINGS ARE TERRIBLE


End file.
